Alice in Blunderland

For those people who just want to know what I thought of the movie, look no further: Tim Burton, you have tarnished a classic. Disney, you should be ashamed of yourselves.

Perhaps that’s being a little unfair, but unfortunately I’m biased. The original, hand drawn, Disney version of Alice in Wonderland is one of my favorite movies of all time. In high school, I wrote a paper on its’ direct correlation to the American anti-communist attitudes at the time. I’ve seen it many times, read the books, and I’ve visited the statue in Central Park. Bottom line: Alice is the best. I thought that being a huge Tim Burton fan (his current exhibit on display at Moma is brilliant) and a GIANT Disney fan that the combination would be brilliant. As trailers and images slowly leaked out over the past couple of months, I could not contain my excitement. Earlier this week I got advanced passes to see it and I was thrilled. The day finally came and…I left feeling empty. Here’s why:

Tim Burton is a master of pulling the darkly comic moments out of any situation. Lewis Carroll’s books were darkly comical, rife with sarcasm and wit. The animated film expertly blends shadowy characters and backdrops with just the right amount of sass. Burton’s Alice just…doesn’t. Yes, the whole film is murky, but where’s the comic gold? It’s surely not found in Johnny Depp’s one-note Mad Hatter. His character looks fantastic, but he lacks an edge. The only truly interesting moments Depp has are those he shares with the brilliant Helena Bonham Carter. Burton likes to focus on his wife/muse in his movies, and this film is no exception. The Red Queen has a hefty part to play, but Carter plays it with both a fiery disposition and a childlike sense of amazement—it’s the best performance in the movie and one of her best to date. For the sake of time (and so this doesn’t go on and on) I’ll tweet in my opinions on the other performances:

Mia Wasikowska as Alice: Boring, uninspired, and flat. Poor job by a phenomenal actress

Anne Hathaway as the White Queen: On screen for maybe seven minutes. Laughable accent, good acting. Something off about her appearance.

Crispin Glover as the Knave of Hearts: Quite good, on par with Carter. Excellent foil to Depp.

Matt Lucas as Tweedledum and Tweedledee: Hysterical, one of the best parts of the movie.

Alan Rickman as the Caterpillar: Literally the same character as his Professor Snape, but that’s not to say he wasn’t excellent as per usual.

Imelda Staunton as the Tall Flowers: A blink-and-you-miss-it performance by the frighteningly good actress who played Professor Umbridge in Harry Potter.

Christopher Lee as the Jabberwocky: Poorly animated, amazingly voiced by the nearly 90 year old Brit. Commanding and engaging vocal work.

Scenery (CGI and all): Victorian England looks more beautiful than Underland does. Burton has made it as dark, dreary, and uninviting as possible.

All in all, this was an extremely disappointing movie, salvaged only by a few select performances. When the title character herself seems to be phoning in her performance, you know you’re in for a movie rougher than a fall down the rabbit hole.